Epilogue

Larísa isn’t here anymore. She’s enjoying her retirement, forever sitting by a campfire in Elwynn Forrest, sharing stories, looking at the starry night sky.

The inn will remain closed. I don’t subscribe for WoW anymore and I’ve even – gasp! - uninstalled it from my computer. It’s a finished chapter in my life. I don’t regret it but I’ve moved on.

It’s me, Jessica who is writing this post - not the innkeeper, even though I know it can’t be separated all that easily. A part of me will always listen to the name Larísa.

There’s a thick layer of dust covering the place. Not many people come this way nowadays. I see you’ve emptied the bottles, and that what was just what I intended.

I know there were a few of you who wondered what happened to me and who asked me to give a notice if I’d ever come back to public writing again in some other place. And that’s why I’m here. I’m just putting up a small note on the door for stray wanderers to see.

Yes, I’ve started to blog again, just a little bit, hesitatingly, but not as a pink pigtailed gnome, but as myself, Jessica. It’s called The Velvet Café. (Yes, I couldn’t let go of the analogy of a bar, I’m afraid: I always get that image into my head when I think about blogging.) However I don’t think this blog will be particularly interesting to most of you, if any.

It’s not about WoW; in fact it’s not about gaming at all. It’s about an old interest of mine, which has been sadly neglected for many years due to other commitments taking precedence – raising children, making a career, spending insanely lot of time playing and writing about WoW. It’s a blog about movies.

I’m not quite sure yet what I’ll make of it. Like all newborn blogs it has an aura of insecurity. It lacks direction and a distinct blogger’s voice. I suppose the introductory post will give you an idea of where I’m heading though.

As for a start I’ve tossed up a bunch of reflections over movies I’ve seen lately, which I’ve previously posted at a forum for where I’ve been hanging around. (This is quite an intimidating place by the way. Believe me, there are EJ forums for everything! Film is no exception.) For the future I imagine that I’ll write not only movie-specific posts, but also more personal takes on whatever comes into my mind as long as it has some sort of remote connection to the world of films.

Again: I know perfectly well that this cup of coffee isn’t for everyone. But I thought I hould let you know since you asked so nicely. Feel free to come and have a look if you want to, but remember - don’t feel bad if you don’t like it at all. It’s not you, it’s me, OK?

I also want to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their thoughtful, loving, caring and touching comments on Larísa’s final post. I always used to reply to every comment I got, but this time it felt appropriate not to, since Larísa basically had left the place. However, I took all you said, every single comment, and put it close to my heart, where I’m still carrying them around. It’s a cold world out there. You kept me warm. You still do.

Hugs

Jessica, former Larísa, innkeeper of The Pink Pigtail Inn

One chilly, blustery morning in March

You should put the important stuff first in your article. Don't wait for it, just let it out. Give the reader a hook or you'll lose them.

That's what they taught me when I studied to become a journalist, and God knows I've happily ignored this advice many a time here at the inn, including in this post. That's the freedom of blogging as a non-professional. You can just not give a crap about how it "should" be done and do it your way, and there's no one that will hold anything against you for doing it. Your blog. Your kingdom. Your call.

But I won't keep you hanging any longer because it doesn't change anything. I see that you've all got a pint of our finest draught, the one I saved for this very occasion. So here we go, it's time to pop the news.

This is the final post at The Pink Pigtail Inn. My days as a WoW blogger have come to an end.

So, I said it.

I didn't hesitate about the decision; it came way easier to me than I imagined it would. However I hesitated on how to put it. Somehow it didn't feel right to write: "I'm closing the inn". Because how could you ever close an imaginary place? Regardless of what happens in the future to the blog, it will always remain open in my mind, as a spot and a hideout where I can recover when the world out there feels dark and lonely and threatening. A fire to warm my feet, an armchair where I can snuggle. The mumble of friendly voices in the background. Stories are shared, songs are sung, food is enjoyed. This doesn't change. The inn remains open for me. It's just that I'm not blogging anymore.

The reasons
You may wonder about the reasons for this change of mind. Why did I stop blogging now and not a year ago or a year into the future? And I honestly can't come up with one particular. I just woke up one morning and knew that this was it, that the day had come. It was over. I had said what I had to say about WoW.

I blogged for over three years. This is quite long in comparison to most other WoW centric blogs. Over the years there have been about 700 posts published at the PPI, of which I've written the vast majority. So I guess it's no wonder that I eventually feel that I'm done with it. To be honest I would have expected it way earlier. I could never ever imagine what PPI would become and how long it would last when I started to blog once upon a time.

I have no idea how many hours I've put into this blog. It must be thousands, and I'm not exaggerating. But exactly as in the case of the game itself, I don't regret a single one of them. Sure, it took a lot of effort, but there was also so much in it that I enjoyed.

I enjoyed stretching my writing muscles, taking up the challenge to write in English, seeing how it became easier over time after the initial struggles. I enjoyed the perspectives blogging gave me on WoW. All those thoughts, all those insights that were brought to me - from my own writing process as well as from commenters and from the discussions with other members of the blogosphere - have helped me to understand and experience the game in a way I wouldn't have otherwise.

If you're a blogger you notice things and it adds depth and meaning to everything you do. You associate to blog posts you've read or you get inspiration to new posts of your own. With the mindset of a blogger, even such a trivial thing as killing ten rats, can be turned into something interesting.

The thanks
And this is the point when I should give away the big thanks. But to be honest, I've never been a big fan of acknowledgement chapters in books. It's normally just endless lists of names that mean nothing to the reader, where the only variation is if they have put the credits to the supporting wife first or last. I won't make a list of names, not only because it would become too long, but also because I'd be terrified to miss to include someone that was important to me.

But you know who you are - readers, commenters and other bloggers. You cheered me up when I needed it desperately, you gave me solid advice when I was clueless, you believed in me when I just couldn't. You gave me giggles, resistance and food for thought. Without your support, your love and your inspiration, this place wouldn't exist. You made this happen.

The future
So, what's next? Well, as far as it comes to the blog, I'll keep it up for now. I pay a little fee for the rights to the domain name, but it doesn't cost me much, so there's no rush about anything. Once I see that there are absolutely none visitors whatsoever, I'll silently close it, but at that point it doesn't really matter to anyone.

And Larísa? What will happen to the pink pigtailed gnome when she has left the bar disk and walked out of that door?

For now being I'm still playing and raiding as usual (even though I'm honestly playing very little outside of the raids these days - like so many others). I haven't left WoW and I still don't know for sure when it will happen. But I know one thing: it will be a lot easier to do it, now that I'm not blogging about it anymore.

I can already give you a glimpse from how it will end. It's all planned. After giving away my gold I'll take Larísa to a green meadow in Elwynn Forest. Her feet will be bare and she'll wear nothing but a simple cloth robe, just like she did when she entered the world four years ago. Closing the circle.

And what will happen to me then, the player, that middle-aged woman who stumbled upon WoW more or less by accident and unexpectedly turned into a die-hard raider? Will I keep playing games, will I keep playing MMOs, will I start blogging again, under a different name?

I'm pretty sure I'll play other games. It took me very long, but eventually I realized that my visit in Azeroth was more than a tourist trip. Like it or not, I've become a gamer myself.

However I doubt that I'll ever go this deep into an MMO again. It becomes very time consuming ever so easily. And while I - as I've said before - don't regret the time I've spent on WoW, life isn't unlimited and there are other things I want to do with it, apart from exploring virtual worlds. I would think twice before committing myself to a game again the way I have with WoW. Been there, done that.

When it comes to blogging, I definitely want to keep writing for pleasure rather than for work, but I'm not so sure I'll do it in this form. I might try to find a different outlet for my creativity.

The final toast
I see that you're close to finishing your pints and the fire has turned into a faint glow. It's time to let go. Normally I'd probably find a suitable quote from LOTR as so many times before, but Tamarind beat me to it as he let Bilbo have the last word as Righteous Orbs closed down a while ago.

Instead I'm going to finish this final post at the PPI with the words of Richard Adams, from the ending of Watership Down.

He expresses my thoughts and emotions way better than I could myself. I'm leaving now because it was time for me to do so. But life goes on in the blogosphere and you'll be just fine.

I bid you all farewell. This is the final toast at The Pink Pigtail Inn.

Cheers!

"One chilly, blustery morning in March, I cannot tell exactly how many springs later, Hazel was dozing and waking in his burrow. He had spent a good deal of time there lately, for he felt the cold and could not seem to smell or run so well as in days gone by. He had been dreaming in a confused way -- something about rain and elder bloom -- when he woke to realize that there was a rabbit lying quietly beside him -- no doubt some young buck who had come to ask his advice. The sentry in the run outside should not really have let him in without asking first. Never mind, thought Hazel. He raised his head and said, "Do you want to talk to me?"

"Yes, that's what I've come for", replied the other. "You know me, don't you?".

"Yes, of course," said Hazel, hoping he would be able to remember his name in a moment. Then he saw that in the darkness of the burrow the stranger's ears were shining with a faint silver light.

"Yes, my lord," he said. "Yes, I know you".

"You've been feeling tired," said the stranger, "but I can do something about that. I've come to ask whether you'd care to join my Owsla. We shall be glad to have you and you'll enjoy it. If you're ready, we might go along now".

They went out past the young sentry, who paid the visitor no attention. The sun was shining and in spite of the cold there were a few bucks and does at silflay, keeping out of the wind as they nibbled the shoots of spring grass. It seemed to Hazel that he would not be needing his body any more, so he left it lying on the edge of the ditch, but stopped for a moment to watch his rabbits and to try to get used to the extraordinary feeling that strength and speed were flowing inexhaustibly out of him into their sleek young bodies and healthy senses.

"You needn't worry about them," said his companion. "They'll be all right-and thousands like them. If you'll come along, I'll show you what I mean."

He reached the top of the bank in a single, powerful leap. Hazel followed; and together they slipped away, running easily down through the wood, where the first primroses were beginning to bloom. "

In-game items in honour of bloggers – who’s next?

It’s been a while since last time we saw it, but now it appears as if Blizzard is going to give a shoutout to a prominent community member by naming an item in the game after them.

Frostheim, the columnist at WoWinsider, who also runs a hunter blog and co-hosts a podcast, has apparently dropped his cloak somewhere, but it will soon be found again in the form of the epic drop Recovered cloak of Frostheim.

This is not only well deserved, but also encouraging to the rest of the blogging community.

It may appear as if Blizzard doesn't pay much attention to the work we do, the ideas and opinions and the knowledge we share for free with the rest of the community, the passion and effort we put into it. I’ve bashed them previously for the lack of interest they’ve displayed.

But when those things happen you start to wonder if they might actually be listening after all, sneaking around, hiding silently in the dark corners, taking notes, reflecting, getting a few insights on the way and hopefully a few laughs as well. At least I’d like to think so.

Phaelia and BRK
We’ve seen this kind of gestures a couple of times before. What comes to mind is of course Phaelia at Resto4life, who was honoured with Phaelia’s Vestments of the Sprouting Seed when she closed her shop after getting pregnant.

And a few months later, the most famous and loved hunterblogger through all those years, BRK, got a gun named after him, BRK – 1000, which even smelled faintly of raspberries. (BRK had a thing with those.)

What makes the case of Frostheim different to BRK and Phaelia though is that he hasn’t announced that he’s quitting blogging, at least not as far as I know of. And I think that’s a good thing. It means far more to get this kind of recognition and encouragement when you’re still active in the community and playing the game than to get it as some sort of farewell present, once you’ve decided to move on and leave it behind you.

If you ask me I think Blizzard could be more generous than they are in naming items after people in the community. How many items are there in the game? Thousands and thousands! Not everyone would have to get an epic item. It could be ordinary grey or white items, which actually would last longer than an epic drop that will get outdated and never-to-be-seen as soon as the raiding moves to the next tier of content.

The case of Breanni
My favourite nod to the community in game is not an object at all - it’s an NPC. Of course I’m thinking of Breanni, the pet shop keeper in Dalaran, who is a reference to the creator of Warcraft Pets. Obviously an NPC has a longer life than an item, but this one is more than that: it’s an NPC that doesn’t stand idly on one spot but reaches out to you. Even these days when very few bothers about going to see her in Dalaran, Breanni will keep sending letters, as when you complete the meta-achievement for pet-collecting or when you get your Core-hound pup.

How awesome isn’t that? If you’d like to know more about the real person behind Breanni, I suggest you read the interview with Brian, which is his real name. (Yep, he’s a guy. As opposed to what some players think, collecting non-combat pets isn’t necessarily something girlish).

Who’s next?
The question is: who’s next? Who in the WoW community would you like to see honoured in game with an item, an NPC or in some other way?

I have one favourite candidate: Tim Howgego, who has created El’s Extreme Anglin’, the one and only resource you need to improve your fishing. Make him a hat, a lure, a quest or an npc named “El”. Whatever. He’s not only the biggest fishing enthusiast and source of knowledge out there; he also manages to transfer a bit of this enthusiasm into the community. Which is quite an achievement considering how exciting fishing really is as a gaming experience.

Oh, and I’d totally love to be able to buy or bake a Tobold Cookie. Eat it and increase your intellect for an hour. Pretty obvious.

Edit: After publishing this, it has been brought to my attention that there is another blogger who has been honored in the game, namely Mania from Mania's Arcania and the hunter pet resource site Petopia. The reference to her beats anything I've heard of so far in terms of coolness.

You're not likely to have encountered her since it's a rare one, the silithid Aniamiss the Hive Queen. Take away the -iss ending and read it backwards. Or you could read it as "Mania is the Hive Queen".

It's very discrete and totally adorable!

Piggies to brighten your day

Things are very, very quiet in the WoW community this week. Or rather: everyone is busy buzzing about Rift, but since I’m not playing it and not planning to join anytime soon, it holds very little interest to me.

I’ve had a couple of rather dramatic days myself, and I’m still wrestling my mind whether to blog about it or not. Hence my silence.

However, something arrived in the post the other day and I wanted to share it with you, since it gave me a smile.

It’s a Piggie! And in case you have no idea about what a Piggie is, I’ll tell you now. The word was invented by no one else but BBB, who I’ve always thought of as the grandfather of WoW blogging. He had a post a few days ago where he spoke very kindly of PPI and among other things referred to the yearly PPI award as “piggies”.

And this in turn inspired another wonderful blogger, Tesh, to offer me a medal-like icon, which the category winners could use on their blogs to show that their award.

I fell in love with this figure the first time I saw it. Pigtails indeed! While I admit that the Oscar is superior in fame and wealth, it isn’t even close to the piggies when it comes to charm.

It remains to see how many of those we’ll see around. As a matter of fact several of the blogs that have won previously years aren’t active anymore. But I hope someone will pick it up because it’s so cheerful.

And if you haven’t yet been officially awarded, you're free to use the version without the text. I can imagine different kinds of usage. For decoration of course, or perhaps it could replace stars if you're making reviews. Or why not mark out particularly cheerful posts with a piggie, so blog readers who are desperate for something up-beat easily can spot it in the sea of melancholy and apathy that is floating around at the moment.

The piggies saved my week, that’s for sure. Big thanks to BBB and Tesh!

A pint with Larísa somewhere else

The people at MMO Melting Pot were kind enough to invite me over to their place to have a chat over a pint. And how they made me talk! There wasn’t any end to it.

If you’d like to hear my take on topics such as raid sizes, in-game special rewards, the pros and cons of link-love and the possible responsibility we might have to the blogosphere – please head over to MMO Melting Pot and read the interview. Be warned though – each reply to the seven questions is more or less like a blogpost in itself.

A Haunted Week

I won’t hide it to you. This week is best described as “meh”, which is odd. After all it’s Patch week and we should be bouncing and clapping our hands – alternatively raging and knitting our fists over the buffs and nerfs to different aspects of the game.

But it’s quiet. Too quiet. I see apathy in the blogosphere and I see apathy in my guild and it’s damn hard to not get somewhat affected by it - even if you’re blessed with pink pigtails.

Adam wrote a post the other day claiming that old bloggers like me have a “responsibility to rise to the occasion and inspire others”. Are you serious Adam? I’ve been doing this for three years now, don’t you think I deserve a rest at some point?

But OK, I’ll do my best not to be too dark and whiney as I’m about to ramble away, sharing what’s been on my mind lately.

The haemorrhage in our guild
So, what’s up? Well, first, there’s the constant underlying worrying about the future of my guild. I wrote about it a while ago and we’re still struggling with our recruitment. While we still get an application here and there, we’re losing our older players at the same rate as the new ones join – or actually slightly quicker. The veterans aren’t leaving us for other guilds; it’s a case of reaching the point where the game doesn’t have a grip on them anymore. They’ve had their fun but now they’re done with it.

Of course this was bound to happen at some point, but I must admit that I’m a little bit surprised at the timing of it. We’re still just a couple of months into the expansion. It’s not like when we had been raiding ICC for six months and there was nothing new on the horizon. I wonder if this is just our guild or if it’s a sign of an overall change in the game. Are we seeing a shift of generations here? Are the vanilla veterans marching out?

The shift in the blogosphere
And then there’s the blogosphere. The part of it where I hang around took a huge hit this week as Righteous Orbs closed down. I still stand by what I wrote in a comment – that I’m happy for them, since I think that their talent was too to be spent on solely writing WoW-related blog posts. I understand and support their decision to move on, and somehow it’s almost a bit inspiring and liberating to see them let go so of it so easily.

But this said – Tam and Chas are leaving a huge void after them as they’re moving on. Normally I remove blogs that have shut down immediately from my blogroll, but in this case I can’t yet bring myself to do it. The community won’t be the same without their voices. They brought colour and life to it and as I look around in what’s left of bloggers, we all appear a bit grey and dull in comparison, to be honest.

However - life goes on and I suppose the rest of us will recover eventually. But I can’t deny that it feels as if I too am getting closer and closer to the day when it’s my turn to bid farewell and head for new pastures. The thought has crossed my mind, more than once.

On the brighter side: when oldies like RO and – at some point in the future – PPI shuts down, it leaves more space for the newcomers to flourish. And there isn’t any lack of new blood. Every week several new blogs are introduced in the Blog Azeroth forums. I keep getting letters from newcomers, such as most recently Stubborn at Sheep The Diamond, asking me how to get started and noticed. Maybe he will grow up and find his own voice and eventually and become the next generation’s equivalence of RO? You never know.

The LFD buff
So what about the patch that dropped this week? Does it get a “yay” or a “boo” from Larísa? Well, I think the biggest news in it was the introduction of the up-to-15 percent buff to LFD parties, which made some players cheer and others moan. I’m in neither party since I’m currently only doing dungeons in guild groups, so it really doesn’t affect me at all. And I don’t give a crap about if it’s easier or not for non-guild parties. It’s not my concern.

For me the most interesting aspect was the fact that we had been doing those random dungeons for such a long time without anyone noticing that the 5 percent buff didn’t work. It reminded me a little bit of when you’re teaching a child how to ride a bicycle. As long as you assure them that you’re holding the rear luggage carrier, everything will go just fine. They’ll keep going until the moment they realize that you’re actually not holding them anymore and haven’t been doing for a long while. As they see this, they’re bound to fall over, and they’ll be very angry with you, claiming that they can’t ride the bike unless you support them.

I know there have been come complaints, but I can’t help being a little amused thinking of that so many players seem to have been riding that bike damn well without anyone holding it. However, now all of a sudden, GC isn’t just holding the bike for us, he has even put on supporting wheels.

Is it for good or for bad? I don't know. I don't pug and I'm not the target audience for this change, so I'll refrain from judging and raging this time; I've done enough of it in the past.

Drop of the week
Let’s end this post on the brighter side. After four years of playing WoW, I finally got my first epic world drop in the form of a pair of plate trousers. For some obscure reason a crocodile in Tol Brad carried them in his pockets, so I killed him and sold them for over 20 k gold. This is a sum that I personally never ever, under any circumstances, would pay for a piece of gear that inevitably will be replaced in the next content patch. But of course I’m happy that other players think differently!

On the other hand, I'm prepared to spend ridiculous amounts of gold on other sorts of items that I suspect other players would consider utterly useless. Worthless fluff, filling your bags with nothing. And that’s exactly what I did for a part of the income from the trousers: I bought myself a shadow.

For ages, I’ve been cursing myself for losing my Haunted Memento, somewhere along the road. In case you’ve forgotten, this was an item that you got during the scorge invasion in the pre-Wrath events. If you have it in your bag, it will give you a haunted buff or debuff, (considering how you look at it), and occasionally you’ll also see a dark figure discretely following you in a distance.

Once upon a time I had one of my own, but I must have lost it during some bank clear-out, in the belief that it was just another trash necklace (the icon model is not unique for the item). And ever since, I’ve been a sad panda for being so careless and stupid.

However, rich as a goblin after my world drop, I entered AH and bought the one that was up at 5 k gold. It was worth every copper of it!

Finally I’m back to myself again. This is Larísa, this is me, in a nutshell. A gnome with bright pink pigtails, carrying a shadow she never quite can escape.

It’s been a haunted week indeed. So let’s end it here with a toast.

I’ll have a big one myself. I think I need it.

Cheers!

The blog names I’d rather see go away

Disclaimer: This post is probably going to upset a few readers. I’m about to thread on some toes of fellows in the blogging community. Please don’t take it personally. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate your blog. It’s just the name of it that I don’t fancy that much. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. OK?

I’m not picky when it comes to blog names. Basically you can call your blog whatever you like, as long as it’s not a blatant rip-off from another, well-known blog, which is something I don’t approve of. Build your own brand with your own ideas, thank you very much!

However there is one kind of names that has bugged me for years now and finally I’ve decided to speak up about it. Maybe, just maybe it could prevent one of you who might be thinking of starting your own blog from picking such a name.

Girl blogs
So. (Larísa takes a deep breath. She's not much of a toe stepper).

I have a problem with blogs called something with “girl” or “chick”. Girl playing WoW! Girl not playing WoW! The girl that games! Gamers can be girls! Chick gamer! I’m a super chic gaming chick girl IRL, yes you heard it right, girl, GRRRLLL!!!!

Well the last one wasn’t authentic but you get the idea.

What’s up with you people? Is your gender really such an important aspect of your blog that you have to display it in the name? You could believe that those blogs would be full-fledged gender blogs, wresting every thinkable topic to be about feminism or anti-feminism or whatever. But they rarely are. They’re just normal WoW blogs by normal gamers.

They keep coming. I see them popping up in the newcomer section at Blog Azeroth where new bloggers introduce themselves and every time I see a new blog named “girl” or “chick” blog, I cringe.

Some of the chick named blogs have been around for years, which makes it more understandable. I only started to play games four years ago, but further back, I’ve heard that the situation was different. Females were rare spawns in the gaming community and those who spoke up and came out of their wardrobes were a bit of pioneers. If you were one of the early adaptors it could make perfectly sense to start a blog where you stated that here was a real girl, playing games, a rebellion against the prejudices. Becoming visible was essential.

But now? In 2011? Haven’t we come any further than that? I’d dare say we have. Being a girl who games isn’t exactly shocking news anymore. And it’s definitely not the unique selling point you may look for as a new blogger, rather the contrary if you ask me. If you name your blog “I’m a girl who plays WoW”, I guarantee you that I’ll be unable to tell it from the 20 other blogs with similar names that already are on the market. (Male bloggers are in a different situation; as far as I know there’s only one blog that displays gender in the name – A boy and his death rays.)

Girl or woman
And while I’m raging, what’s this thing about always using the name “girl”, either you’re a 17 year old blogger or 37? If you insist on marketing your gender for whatever reason, what’s wrong with the word “woman”? Could it possibly be that “girl” comes with a connotation of being innocent, harmless and cute, while a grown-up woman feels a bit more creepy and threatening?

Saga has been around blogging for quite a while, but recently she took the step to change her blogname from one of those “girl” themed into the neutral “Spellbound”, which I think is a beautiful blogname and appropriate for a warlock. I wish that more would follow her example.

It’s about time that we stop presenting ourselves as “girls” and start looking at ourselves as “gamers”. No matter how good the intentions are, I think the “girl that games” blog names make more harm than they help to make female gamers into fully accepted members of the community. I look forward to the day when no one would come up with the idea to name a blog “girl” as little as they’d name it “Vegetarian plays WoW” or “The right-handed WoW player”.

Friday night toast
And this was quite a grumpy rant for being a Friday night post. Normally I try to end the week a bit more cheerfully, but I needed to get this off my chest.

To all of you who have a blog named “girl”, I’m truly sorry if I offended you. If you want to mock the name of my blog, please go ahead! I’m sure you can find up something about it. After that I suggest that we end this evening, sharing a toast, making peace again.

After all, the weekend is incoming and hopefully a nice one for all of us. Boys as girls. Women as men. Gnomes as orcs.

Cheers!

Snapshots from my life as a blogger

I became a blogger on February 2 2008. I had absolutely no idea of what I was doing or why I did it. I was curious. That was reason enough for me to give it a go.

Three years later I’m still around talking about the same stuff - World of Warcraft. You would think that I’d run out of things to say after +600 posts, but obviously not. I’m not sure if it’s about the size and complexity of the game and community, or if it’s more about my passion for it. Regardless of which, here I am as always, standing in the bar, serving drinks and thinking aloud, occasionally taking a break in one of the cosy armchairs by the fireplace.

Not much has changed over the years. The top picture has remained the same since I redesigned the blog in June 2008. I'm turning my back to the audience on it, which doesn't really look very nice, thinking of it. I think I wanted to picture me and the readers sitting side by side by the fireplace, staring into the dancing flames, sharing our stories from Azeroth. Some conversations don’t require you to look into each others eyes all the time.

However I thought that the three year anniversary would be a nice opportunity to turn around for once and say hello to all guests face to face. So here’s a picture of me, drawn by Vidyala at Manalicious from my Armory page. Pretty much spot on if you ask me, only the pink colour is missing.

So this is me, Larísa, and I'd like to spend this jubilee sharing some snapshots from those years by linking to some of the older posts that were special to me for various reasons. Some of them were particularly fun to write - or hard or painful. Others stirred up reactions. Or they just stuck in my mind.

Divorce
Before I transferred to my current server, I went through a guild split. It was the first time in the game that I experienced that kind of drama and I took it pretty hard. This post was memorable because it was the first time I shared something personal on the blog and used it as therapy. Many more of this kind of posts would follow.

Onion thoughts
This was a little post which came to my mind as I was chopping onions. I compared the learning curve of WoW to the looks of one of those. What made the post special to me was that Matticus linked to it in a post about some new and “upcoming” bloggers. It was the first time I felt as if someone in the blogosphere had noticed me and I’ll never forget it.

The Big Battle of Mages
When people link to PPI they normally categorize it as a “general” WoW blog, rather than a mage one. I don’t talk much about mage stuff these days. But during my first year as a blogger I had a very enjoyable little discussion going on between me, Gnomeaggedon, Krizzlybear and Zupa, a former blogger. We argued about which mage spec that was the best one, in a pseudo-theorycrafting pretty silly way. I’m not sure it was an all that good read to be honest. However we had a blast doing it (arcane of course, what else?) And I think it gave me a taste of how fun and friendly the blogging community could be.

Discovered: Black Temple
PPI was never much of a diary, but bigger events and changes to my gameplay normally will end up as blogposts. Joining Adrenaline was probably the bravest thing I ever did in the game. This post reflects what I felt about it at that time pretty well. Re-reading it is a good reminder to me to be nice to our trialists.

If I die for real will anyone notice?
My gnome may have a cheerful appearance with her pink pigtails, but PPI has never been just strawberries and sunshine. Sometimes I write about my weakness, my self doubts, my ghosts. Or even death as in this case. Two years later I wrote In the Shade of Deathwing – about those things we normally try not to think about, which if possible was even darker. I struggled to write it, but I was glad that I managed to. It rendered some very beautiful and insightful comments.

Ask Larísa – how do I make my blog noticed?
Gevlon at Greedy Goblin and I have a long story together. He was one of my first readers and as he decided to start a blog of his own, he turned to me, asking for advice, which I willingly gave him. The rest is history. Needless to say, I have disagreed with him several times over the years, like in this post. But he has always a reserved seat here at the inn, regardless of how he’s regarded by the rest of the blogosphere.

Happily building my sandcastle
Most posts you write will be forgotten the next day. Blogposts are like milk, it’s consumed on the spot and come with a best-before-date. But this one was an exception. I still hear people in the blogosphere referring to the “sandcastle post”. For some reason this analogy worked, not just for me.

Twisted!
This post isn’t spectacular in itself, but it’s a souvenir from when I appeared as a guest in Twisted Nether Podcast, which turned out to be way more fun and way less nervous than I had imagined. The major problem was for the poor host to make me stop talking.

A year later I did another podcast appearance, in Blue Plz. Considering the size of the audience, this was scarier, but I needn’t have worried. Totalbiscuit is as nice in real life as he’s nasty in his commentary and he didn’t just make me feel comfortable, he also managed to make me stop talking.

33 things I want to do before I quit WoW
I think list posts are a little bit like choir music; it’s more fun to sing or write it than it is to listen or read. Bloggers who give advice on how-to-blog tend to be enthusiastic about list posts, suggesting you to make posts like “Five reasons to…” “The five best ways to..”
It’s tempting, since it’s a convenient structure to work in, but I try not to do it too often, since it gets old after a while.

However, this post was one that I really enjoyed to write and which I actually went back to every now and then, if I needed inspiration for what-to-do next in the game.

Other list posts I enjoyed to write was 17 excuses to play WoW when you know you shouldn’t and Seven lessons learned from trekking, where I managed to combine my interest for mountain walks with WoW (constructed or not, I leave for someone else to judge.)

How to make an unforgettable guild anniversary
I’ve always been quite discrete about my guild's doings in my blog, reluctant to even mention the names of my guildies. For some reason it feels as if I shouldn’t talk about them unless we’ve agreed on it on before hand. If I’ve been writing, it has mostly been in positive contexts, like when we’ve gotten a very longed for first kill. There has been very little guild drama in my posts, if any at all. This post was about a guild event that was so good that I wanted to share it. And I was actually pretty delighted when WoW Insider wrote a special post about it, giving the officers of Adrenaline credit for all their efforts.

Sad and frustrated
The summer of 2009 was a nightmare, computer wise. My old rig had never been a hit, but at that point I was really in trouble and I couldn’t work out what was wrong. I wrote about my desperation and got so many responses and honest tries to help out. In the end, it turned out that I had to buy a new computer, but oh, how touched I was by the love and friendship I felt from the community.

The Bubble
Some posts are personal and this is one of those. Enough said.

The Picture of the Day
I’ve never been one of the Bloggers Who Talk A Lot about Gender issues and unlike Pewter and Chastity I’m not particularly good in feminist theory or argumentation. But sometimes I dip into the topic nevertheless. Not too often though, it wears me down for some reason. This post was about a picture of the staff at Blizzard which made me realize that WoW in the end pretty much is a boys club.

Coming out as an older player in WoW
Age is another topic that I’ve touched on a couple of occasions. I was floored by the reception of this post and I felt far less alone than I had before. The club of older players was apparently bigger than you might imagine.

Musings over boobs and my liberating lack thereof
This post combined the last two topics – age and gender – into one, and a wonderful discussion followed in the comment section, which left me touched and empowered.

A power demonstration of a GM
I’m probably not known to be the most controversial of bloggers, but there are exceptions like this one. My support for a guildie who had been rude to a GM and deprived of his character name as a punishment provoked a massive reaction, with over 100 comments, of which approximately 2/3 were negative. It didn’t make me change my mind on this, though.

Did Blizzard just miss to do a reality check?
Oh, the community rage of the summer of 2010! Blizzard launched the idea of real name posting on the forums. And we raged and they changed their mind! I would believe it was rather the players who cancelled their subscriptions how made this happen, but who knows, maybe I contributed a tiny, tiny, tiny little as well?

An unfortunate meet-up with the pumpking leechers
Some posts are more fun than others to write, posts where the writing is pure entertainment and doesn’t feel like taking any effort at all. This was one of those. The situation was so absurd that the story had to be told. It basically wrote itself.

WoW is...
Sometimes I can't resist going in clinch with those people who I call the Bitter Veterans. A few times it has been Wolfshead, but this time it was Syncaine I attacked. This was a simple list post with linkage, mostly to my own blog. However it was fun to write and gave me a reminder about how many different ways there are to play WoW and why I still like it so much after all those years.

The Perfect Raid Snack
My final snapshot will be this little post about what constitutes a perfect raid snack. I never intended my blog to be useful, but in the end this post turned out to be, since the commenters were more than willing to share their own recipes and ideas.

Thanks
I've enjoyed taking this walk down the memory lane and I could go on talking forever about every blogpost I ever wrote, but I think I’ll end it here. 25 snapshots are more than enough. (No, I said snapshot, not schnapps shot! 25 of those would DEFINITELY be enough!)

Only one thing remains: to bring out a toast. Thank you for coming here and helping to make this place into what it is.

Cheers!

Banal and self-serving? Yes, you bet!

“Pink Pigtail Inn needs to think up some better topics. […]. I am hoping WI can find better posts to link to in the future that aren't as banal and self-serving”

Those sweet lines dropped in a comment at WoW Insider this weekend. Lately they have shown the blogosphere more “love” than usual, speeding up the frequency of their Daily Quest column where they feature links to posts they’ve found interesting for whatever reason.

This time they decided to mention my post about how annoying the single-listing practice is from the point of view from a customer. I guess I would have been better off if they hadn’t.

Getting link love from WoW Insider is a double-edged sword. Many new bloggers crave for it; they think it would be the best thing ever to happen to their blog, to finally get the chance to reach a bigger audience. (Unfortunately the bump in the visitor statistics will be just a bump. It’s not the ICC buff we’re talking about here, rather a short burst of heroism/bloodlust).

But even as a veteran I can’t deny that I too secretly get a little bit flattered by the attention. I suspect that bloggers are a bit like actors – happy and terrified in equal proportions as we’re taking our place in the spotlight – left out, vulnerable, fragile and yet thrilled, empowered and confident.

The negatives about WI linkage is that you’re exposed to the views of a lot of people who never have read your blog before, who don’t know you and who are every so quickly to judge you and point fingers. Expect rotten tomatoes come flying in your direction. You’re dealing with a mob.

Shielding yourself
Wise bloggers know how to shield themselves from this. If they even take notice of the trolls, they give the trolls the laugh they deserve. And that’s the advice I’ve given too, over and over again over the years to fresh bloggers. If you get hurt, it’s only because you let them hurt you. There’s no need to! You can choose your own reactions.

But for all my gnomish wisdom and insights about how I SHOULD react, the comment above still slipped through my defence system. For a moment I lost my balance. And as I did so, stumbling on the stage, wondering where to put my feet, I looked at myself and wondered what this was all about. Why did I care?

And I found that this particular troll had managed to pick up and echo doubts my own doubts, doubts that I think most writers struggle with at some point. It happens that we ask those questions: “What’s the point in my blogging in the first place? What am I doing, standing on this soapbox, sharing my banal thoughts with the world, as if they were worth listening to? Who do I think I am?”

Long-time readers of PPI know that I normally try to remain positive, no matter what. However it happens that I occasionally slip and fall into more self-destructive patterns. And that’s why this post could break through my shield and get to me. It matched thoughts that I already carried myself.

Banal and proud
However, the slip was temporarily and I definitely won’t let this troll leave the inn with the last word. Because after a short moment of self-pity and soaking in my own butt hurt feelings, I popped heroism and manned up, growing to the double size if not more, ready for a fight.

So this guy thinks that PPI is banal and self-serving? Good for him. He's right. PPI probably is quite banal. And you know what? I’m not even ashamed of it! Why would I be?

Banalities are fine. People have made entire comedy shows going on for years about “nothing” and they were excellent. There are so many pretentious works of art in the world that crave desperately for a little bit of banality, which would make them matter and not just remain unreachable thought constructions. Gief more banality!

This week I’ll be celebrating three years as a blogger. During this time I’ve given my thoughts, experiences and views on WoW in over 600 posts. They’re probably not the kind of deep or world-changing posts that the commenter is looking for. But so what? I never claimed anything else; I’ve never reported in as a candidate for the Nobel Prize. I’m just an average – or sometimes even mediocre if I’m absolutely honest - player who runs an average blog where I ramble about my very ordinary life in Azeroth.

The guests that frequent PPI are accordingly kindly asked to leave their e-peens as well as steel toe shoes in the hallway. You see, I think that there are others like me in the community, players who long for a safe spot, somewhere where banality and mediocrity is not only accepted, but even embraced.

I want PPI to be a place in my mind where walk barefoot, where I don’t need to pretend that I’m any better or smarter than I really am. Where I’m just me. And if the WI readers don’t approve of their choice for linkage, it’s their problem, not mine.

As long as PPI remains open, it will always be a home for banalities. I promise.

Ghostcrawler The Blogger

I've whined a lot in the past about Blizzard's lacking communication with the community.

I've talked at length about how their former website sucked and I've criticized their fumbling attempts to talk to the playerbase through fragmented, pointless chat sessions. In July I questioned the strategy where Blizzard's lead systems designer Greg Street, a.k.a Ghostcrawler, answers forum posts, more or less randomly. I suggested they rather should make him write proper columns, where he could pick an current topic and share his views on it from a more general perspective. And lo and behold! Now Blizzard is doing exactly this!

Ghostcrawler made his blogging debut the other day in the post "Why Does Blizzard Hate Healers?" where he explains how healing is changing in Cataclysm and the reasons for those changes. Here's a sample from his wrap-up:

"To be clear, we don’t want healers to constantly run out of mana. We want them to run out of mana when they don’t play well. And we don’t want them to always fail. But we do want them to feel good when they are challenged, and overcome those challenges to succeed. When someone is wounded, we want healers to consider whether to use a slow, efficient heal (because they aren’t in immediate threat of dying) or a fast, expensive heal (because they are). That’s called triage, and it was notably missing from the Lich King healing environment. We think triage will make healing more fun. We’re making this change not to make healers sad by nerfing them, but to make healers happy by making the game more fun for them."

It's a good blog post, not the least thanks to his honest approach. Ghostcrawler sounds pretty relaxed as he mentions critique from the community as well as his own doubts about the healing design in Wrath. This isn't just a text with empty marketing phrases. GC knows how to balance between his own ideas and integrity and a genuine interest for what the players have to say. And that's why we trust him and want to hear what he has to say.

A success
Looking at the reception of this post; I would call Ghostcrawler's blogging nothing but a success. I don't think the news about Blizzard's new fansite has reached more than a fraction of the playerbase, but as I'm writing this, there are already over 1200 comments on Ghostcrawler's post and more incoming. And it's a pretty good read. Most of them are decent and reasoning, even in the cases where they don't agree. Overall they're far less aggressive than what we've seen previously on the forums.

This post has also been translated into the other major languages that Blizzard supports, such as Spanish, French and German, which also is an improvement. Now it's not only the US players who get first hand information and can comment on his writings.

It's also worth mentioning that Ghostcrawler isn't the only one to write proper blog posts. Blue poster Lylirra came up with a little piece about what to bring in an Elemental Invasion Survival Kit, which was a fun read, something you could have seen at one of the fan WoW blogs, and it also got a lot of comments. I hope more will follow.

What remains on my wish-list is a little bit more of interaction with the blogosphere, now that Blizzard's staff has joined our ranks. Until now they've had us more or less on ignore, and maybe it's too much to hope for that to change. But considering the general overhaul they're going through in their communications I wouldn't rule it out completely.

In any case it's nice to see that they're making use of Ghostcrawler's potential as a popular and trustworthy spokesman. The new community site has got a good start, so let's hope they can keep it up and expand it in the future.

When bloggers go PvP

Some players like to PvP in the battlegrounds. Others do it in their blogs, like Tobold and Wolfshead in a recent exchange. Here’s a sample from it.

Wolfshead about Tobold

“when you become a drooling fanboy you risk losing all sense of perspective and objectivity and you become a cheerleader for the status quo.

He doesn’t like me because I don’t like WoW and I can accept that. Truth be told, I don’t particularly like him either. We’ve had a long running feud for many years. I stopped reading Tobold a few years ago, although he does send this blog a lot of traffic when he runs out of original ideas to blog about."

Tobold about Wolfshead:

"The man has to decide whether he loves or hates World of Warcraft. On the one side he is writing a constant stream of invectives against WoW and its players, on the other side he complains that he didn't get invited to the Cataclysm beta, or about some minor missing feature.”

Tobold and Wolfshead are both well established bloggers, each one with a following, who now are cheering from the sidelines. Not everyone approve of the tone of conversation though. Nils for instance says that while Tobold is in the perfect right to write whatever he wants, a less social drama approach to issues would be a lot more enjoyable to read. He thinks it doesn’t make a lot of sense to fight fire with fire. Hugh on the other hand worries over culture of zero criticism that he sees developing in parts of the blogosphere.

Need more rage
I have called for peace in the blogosphere on one occasion. That particular conflict smelled a bit like an office e-mail war spreading all over the blogosphere, taking such proportions that I thought it had gone too far.

But this doesn’t mean that I think all conflicts in the blogosphere are of evil. Actually a little bit of rage adds energy, life and eloquence to our writing.

A blog that never ever infuriates anyone, where you never get anything but facts that as well could have been written by an emotionless AI or harmless la-di-da tales about the blogger’s latest companion pet acquisition, would become incredibly boring to read after a while. It’s nice and cosy, but finally I get to the point where I agree with Ratshag: Need more rage!

I think it’s in the nature of fans to argue or even to feud. We’re opinionated – that’s why we blog in the first place. Because we just can’t shut up. To put a restraint on ourselves, to avoid threading on anyone’s toes at any price, goes against what made us start in the first place. Some of the best, most enjoyable rants I’ve ever seen on a blog have been written in a state of righteous fury.

Fanfeuds
I’ve seen – and participated – in many fanfeuds long before I became a blogger, back in my days as a fanzine editor in SF fandom. Some of the “wars” were entirely fictional, something we did in agreement for our own amusement, in the same way as I, Gnomeaggedon and Krizzlybear ran a fake mage battle a couple of years ago, arguing for which mage spec was the best one.

On other occasions, there was a real disagreement, different views colliding, but most of the time kept the “feud” on a level where we did it as an exercise of thought and a way to flex our writing muscles. The strongest weapon we would get was to boycott each other’s fanzine, in the sense that we wouldn’t send it to each other for free, which was the normal practice. (I guess it was the equivalence of removal from your blogroll, although the effect actual was the opposite: “You’re views are so stupid that you don’t even deserve to read what I write”.)

However, when we met at the conventions and fan gatherings, we didn’t hold the previous hard words against each other. We fell into each others arms and had a pint together, chatting as the friends we were, because in the end we knew that we were the same kind: geeks with a passion for reading, thinking and writing.

Knowing the boundaries
The key to good blog PvPing is to know the boundaries. Don’t hesitate to call out an opinion as stupid, but try to avoid calling out the person behind it for being an idiot. Be as sharp, poignant and poisonous as you like, but stay civilized and try to not make it too personal.

Among all the bloggers out there, there might be a couple who are complete fuggheads (another useful fanslang term, in case you’re wondering.) And those can be dealt with mercilessly. But neither Tobold, nor Wolfshead are fuggheads. They’re just PvP:ers who like to go a match once in a while. And I actually kind of enjoy looking at it, because they’re both damned good writers.

If anything, I’d like to see more, not less PvP:ing between bloggers.

One week of shutting up (or at least trying to)

My timeout apparently timed out after a week. A little bit too quickly if you ask Dwism:

“Here is the deal, you are only allowed to stay away until you feel that hunger to write and contribute again. Then you wait a week. Then you return.”

And yet here I am, ranting again, because after all, it’s Friday night and where’s a better place to wind down and start the weekend but here among my friends by the barside?

Back to SF fandom
So how has this week of non-blogging been? Well, actually pretty good.

I haven’t been completely silent and absent from the blogosphere, as some of you have noticed. I’ve been reading blogs and I’ve been commenting a bit, possibly more than I normally do, and I've written a number of e-mails to friends and fellow bloggers. You could call it a bit of a cheat I suppose, but even so, the fact that I haven’t written any real blog posts has had a clear impact on my life as a whole.

The week has given me a taste for what it could look like if I didn’t spend a huge chunk of it either playing or blogging about WoW. No, I haven't Saved the World and I haven't written that Magnificent Novel. Not even paid it a thought. I suppose mr Anonymous who loves to point out what a waste of time WoW playing is would consider my week utterly improductive. So many hours wasted on nothing! However: for me it was as if I had rebooted the machine and got Larísa back to work as intended.

I’ve taken up reading and I’m training more regularely again (to the dismay of my aching muscles). I’ve also reconnected to my geeky origins, the Science Fiction fandom as I went to one of the monthly pub meet-ups in my hometown. I don't say think that this form of geekery in any way is superior to my gaming activities (to refer to the discussion Tamarind had about geek hierarchies). Seeing friends IRL isn't necessarily "better" than seeing them on vent or in a chat. However, it felt like a homecoming to hug some people I've known for 25 years, but havent met for a very long time, picking up our weird, all-out nerd discussions as if no time had passed.

I may appear as a gamer these days, but deep down I can't help thinking that it's more of a temporary disguise as I'm visiting my neighbours in the World of geeks. Even 20 years after publishing my last fanzine, I'm still an SF fan at heart, even if my approach rather is FIJAGDH than FIAWOL (and long live the acronym!).

I’ve slept. Not five hours a night, but seven, which is what I need if I stop lying to myself.

My conclusion from this blogless week is that I want to get back to and maintain this balance in life. This means that there's a definitive stop to pushing out some four or five lenghty posts a week. Period. If I ever get the urge to blog with that frenzy again, I’ll do everything I can to resist it, trying to direct my energy and creativity somewhere else.

Posts I didn't write
Funny enough restricting myself is probably the best way to increase my lust for blogging. I figure it’s a bit like what the therapists usually ordinate people who need to improve their sex life. The theory is that if you explicitly prohibit them from doing it, this is suddenly all they want to do and they’ll go just crazy.

I've experienced this myself during the timeout, as I've had a number of impulses to write blog posts about all sorts of things. Posts that I normally would have written, but never saw the day as it was.

Like the 600 account cap for guilds – is it a fair measure to make sure that the servers aren’t transformed into mega zerg guilds or an unjustified act against great communities such as Alea Iacta Est?

There was also the intense discussion over at Keeva’s place about exactly how bad it is to use words like “rape”, “retard” and “gay” in the guild chat.

You’d be surprised how liberal and laissez-fair this little polite, kindhearted pink pigtailed gnome is compared to many of the voices that have been raised in the post and the comment thread!

I can definitely sign on the intention of Keeva's post and I wrote her a letter of support, which you can need when you get a ton of comments, of which all aren't that nice. My heart beats for her. And I'm all for fighting prejudices and discrimination of people with various sexual preferences and I wouldn't hesitate to speak up if someone said something obviously racist or sexist in our guild chat (not that I think it ever would happen).

But. Here comes the but. I don't think that a thoughtless use of those words, with no intention to hurt anyone, motivates warfare. I'm not convinced that hunting down certain words is the way to go if you want things to change. Or at least it's not top priority. Is it really so that the best way to disarm a word is to not use it and make a huge drama about it every time it comes up? At least in Sweden the label "gay" has been conquered by the gay people themselves, and made into a pretty much neutral word, which gives food for thought.

Maybe it was just as good that I resisted posting about it, apart from this little remark and that can't really count as a post, can it? I probably saved myself a shitstorm of serioulsy negative comments by remaining silent.

Then we've heard the news about the upcoming Blizzcon. Is it only I who find the announced program extremely underwhelming? The announcement of the release of Cataclysm could have been worth a post; after all we've waited for that piece of news for a year, ever since Blizzcon 2009. And if that wasn't blog worthy, I could have written a rant about how messy the new raid lockout system appears to me.

As If I didn't have enough of potential topics, Gnomeaggedon, the cunning mage, sent me an e-mail, giving me some clues for an easy-to-make post, as some kind of test I suppose, to see how serious I was about my timeout.

But I stuck to my decision and didn’t act on those ideas! Yay me! Very few topics will go away and if they do, there will always come new stuff to form yourself an opinion about.

Tobold wrote in a comment to my Timeout post that he felt an urge to ride off with me in the sunset. In the end he didn’t, but he has announced that he’ll blog way less than he used to, and I’ve set my mind on following his example. Perhaps we can take inspiration from each other to stay on this path and find the sweet spot of blogging, where it remains inspiring and fun and won't consume our mana?

Less posting
My decision after my timeout and a chat to myself is that The Pink Pigtail Inn will remain open for now, but that your innkeeper will be speaking up far less often than she used to. Maybe once a week, maybe even less. There won't be any set schedule whatsoever. No promises, no expecations on myself or anyone else.

I don't nourish any ambitions to be around and up-to-date with things, to take part of the most relevant discussions. Many times I'll remain silent, when I would have spoken up if it wasn't for my second thoughts on blogging, the fact that I only want to spend a certain portion of my life on it.

If this means less readers, less comments, less interaction with the community, a spot in a shady alley where few people ever go, so be it! As a matter of fact it might be for the good.

Until now I’ve had a policy where I've tried to write individual replies to at least 90 percent of the comments I get, and this self imposed goal is probably one of those things that have made me feel a bit stretched. I’ve had several good reasons – it’s a matter of politeness, it’s my way to connect to the readers, it’s my way of showing in action how much I appreciate every voice and it’s also something I enjoy.

I also prefer having a good conversation that just listen to my own voice. Many times the comments are far better than the posts in themselves and I think they deserve this acknowledgement. I've been very reluctant to let go of this habit. But it comes with a cost; it's insanely time consuming.

Maybe a slower posting will solve the issue naturally. PPI might turn into a low profiled place where just a handful of people stick to their habit, having an occasional Friday night pint, listening to the rants of an old lady and her mostly cheerful and occasionally grumpy customers. At least I’m willing to try that road and see how it works out.

And if it doesn’t, well, then I’ll write that final chapter in the story of this inn. I already have a fair idea about how it will end.

This has been a quiet week. I'm glad to be back for the time being, especially since it seems as if you've saved a drink for me. Can you please pass that one over?

And oh yes, Frosty, I haven't forgotten the note you left in the bar. This one is on you!

Cheers!

Timeout

My blog is not a job.

I’m not paid to do it. I do it for pleasure and enjoyment, since it combines my passion for writing interest for WoW in such a nice way. And on the top of that, there's this lovely community of bloggers and blog readers that comes with it. All those discussions bring me new perspectives, ideas and views that I wouldn't have thought of otherwise. Some of the people I've met here at the inn have even turned into friends, which was nothing I expected when I started back in time.

And suddenly I realize that this sounds more and more like a farewell post. Which it isn't. But yeah, recently the thought has crossed my mind that I might be approaching the end of The Pink Pigtail Inn. I'm not quite sure yet and that's why I've put this header. I'm thinking it over. That's what I'm doing.

Stretched
I want to figure out if what I'm sensing is only the general pre-Cataclysm blues, a little dip in my mood that can be cured with a little break or so, or if it's actually time to turn my gaze to something different.

All I can say is that I've seen some signs lately. To quote Bilbo: "I feel thin...sort of stretched, like butter spread over too much bread."

I've always claimed that you should develop a thick skin if you want to blog. You need it. You will get comments and people will have views about you and all of it won't be nice. But recently I've found it harder and harder to follow my own advice. It feels as if my skin is getting thinner rather than thicker. Even if I don't want to care I do, and sometimes I take something that the writer thought was a fair point as a personal attack on me. I should know better. And that's why I think it's time for me to stop for a moment and think over what I'm doing.

Is it really worth it? Does it take more than it gives me? And do I really want to spend such a huge part of my free time on WoW, not only playing it, but constantly reading about it, thinking about it, writing about it? Isn't it about time that I get a better balance in my life? If I'm honest with myself, I don't spend as much time training, reading and walking in the forrest (the real one, not Felwood), as I used to before I started blogging. And that's something I'd like to change.

Who knows what I could do if I directed my creative energy in another direction? In those years I’ve written over 600 blogposts about WoW. The amount of text is probably equivalent to a couple of novels, especially if you include all the replies to the almost 10 000 comments. I don’t mean it’s been a waste of time and effort. But looking forward I might want to something else with my writing.

I'm positive that WoW can be a part of my life in the future without taking over. It's just that I'm not so sure there's room for WoW blogging in the way I've been doing it so far.

On the other hand I can't help asking myself: will WoW be as fun and enjoyable if I don't blog about it? It's been an essential part of my gameplay for more than 2.5 years. The fact that I blog has changed the game to me. I think it helps me to see things I might not have noticed otherwise. It gives me an incentive for reflection and observation. And if I'm ever in doubt about anything - the game, my guild, myself, I have the entire blogging community to discuss with. The PPI has been my hideaway, my lookout and my outlet for so long. I can't even imagine how it would be to play WoW without it.

Making up my mind
My blog was always a day-to-day project. I've also given my promise to my guests that I won't just disappear without telling you or giving any previous warning. Some of you have been here ever since the start, when there were 20 people hanging out here rather than 1 700. I owe it to you.

That's why I share what's in my mind right now, so it won't come as a complete surprise if I quit. Mind you, I haven't made up my mind yet. So please - if you want to comment on this, save your potential farewell comments to The Real Farewell post. Don't waste them here. When it's settled there will be no doubt about it. As it is now, nothing is set in stone.

However I'll definitely take a break from blogging for at least a week. After that I'll see how I feel about it.

I've got some unfinished work. Psychochild I know I promised you a post about how LOTRO looks through the eyes of a WoW player who tries it for the first time. It's a shame I haven't done it yet, but I can assure you that if I wrote it, it would be a positive review. I doubt it will replace WoW to me, but it's pretty, the Shire makes me relax, it's free from trolls as far as I can see and it's somehow refreshing to see a game that takes itself and the world a tad more seriously, not cramped with real life pop culture references. However I doubt that there's room for more than one MMO project in my life.

Maybe I'll write that post after all. Maybe I'll write many more posts, only not as often. The pub could open be open just one night a week - or less. On the other hand, taking things in moderation has never been my natural pace. I tend to want to have "all or nothing". So perhaps my next post will be my goodbye, the post where I wrap it all up and close the door for good.

I just don't know yet. The question is open and I need some space to think it over. That's all I can say for now being.

Even writing about this doesn't feel easy. It brings tears into my eyes. Which probably is yet another sign that it's time to turn over the ring to someone else.

I love this virtual pub to pieces. I love all of you who come here. And I love to stand here, serving, shouting, crying, talking, listening, arguing, giggling, whispering and ranting my heart out about whatever comes to my mind. It's just that sometimes love isn't enough to fix it.

Don't worry. In the end I think I'll be fine. I just need this little private chat wtih myself to sort those things out in my head and my heart. In the meantime: have another pint! It's all on the house tonight and for the nextcoming weeks.

Cheers!

Larísa

PS This post wasn't quite finished yet when it accidentally was published for a couple of minutes a few days ago, with the result that my first draft turned up in some feedreaders. I tried to put it back into the box again, without any success. Because of this I received several worried letters from readers asking about my whereabouts. And to all of you, I want to say that I'm really touched by your concerns and that I'm so sorry if I've kept you hanging during the week. It wasn't my intention. I just wanted to get a couple of almost-done-posts out of my system before taking my timeout. Hence the delay.

Time to move on - I think

The gender debate has been raging back and forward in the blogosphere for a while.

I made two statements about my position in this debate. In the first one I explained my rather pragmatic survival tactics in a stereotyped world. In the second, I called to arms and challenged women in WoW to start aiming higher, conquering everything from the number 1 spot on the charts to the top positions at Blizzard.

I commented a bit here and there on the blogs that were most involved in the debate. But then I turned pretty much silent. Not because I don’t care about those issues. Not because I’m afraid to scare any readers away. But because the entire debate started to make me feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

On one hand I wanted to stand up and defend values and views that matters a lot to me. On the other hand I hated to see the blogosphere, which mostly is a rather peaceful, Shire-like place to hang around, into a hardcore, merciless PvP battleground where people took sides and were standing around, doing thumbs up and thumbs down as they saw another argument or insult landing as a blowing strike. While I sympathized with one side, it was quite painful for me to see the other side getting crushed and tore into pieces. Because I’m motherly like that. Yeah, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for Adam, regardless of he deserved my pity or not.

Putting an end to it
In the best of the worlds I probably would have been more active. In the best of worlds I would have come up with a splendid solution that everyone could agree on and we would get out of it a little bit wiser than we were before we started the debate. Because that’s how I deal with such things.

But I couldn’t. The entire thing wore me down, so I tried to get rid of it, writing about other things that crossed my mind, stuff that wasn’t about gender and about what right we have or don’t have to want to ask for changes in WoW. I dodged. And I dodged again. It didn’t help much. There was something lingering in the air, keeping me from letting it go. I needed someone to make a summary, putting together the pieces into a puzzle. What was it that happened, what in all this made me so upset, and what can we learn?

Tamarind, has hold a pretty low profile in the debate, but has spoken up now in a sort of summary post where he tries to knit it all together and put it into perspective. As always he’s far more thoughtful and elegant than I’m capable of, and after reading it I thought: “Yes! Here it is. The end. I’m done and I can put back that book on the shelf, for now being.” Time to move on.

I think it will be a while before I throw myself into another discussion about gender perspective on WoW. Not because everything has been said. There’s surely more and I respect those who blog about those things all-year-round and not just when it’s up as a hot topic. But personally I’ve got nothing more on my mind for the time being. For once, I’ve run out of words. And Tam helped me to come at peace. Finally.

About my blogroll
Oh, and there was one last thing. There has been a spin-off off topic coming from this debate, about blogrolls, where I got some attention too as I removed a couple of links from it recently.

The strong reactions surprised me a little – is it really such a big deal? My blogroll isn’t a manifestation of anything. I disagree a lot with some of the blogs on my list, like for instance Gevlon, who I’ve argued with a lot over the years. But I read him anyway, because I think many of his posts are interesting reads. I like to get a look into a goblin perspective of the world.

If you look at my blogroll, it consists of a very strange mix of all sorts of blogs, reflecting my broad approach to blog reading. I link to very small blogs, which barely no one but me reads, judging from the commentary. And I link to some of the most wellknown and profiled blogs as well, because they’re awesome reads.

Spinks made an overview of the different purposes a blogroll can serve. In my case, the blogroll is mostly for my own use, since I don’t have any feedreader. I read the blogs as they are, visiting them. Thanks to Blogger’s system I can see if they’ve been updated recently, which is why I prefer the Blogger blogrolls to the ones generated from for instance Wordpress, where you have no idea if the last post was from yesterday or a year ago. The “last update” system is very handy.

But the blogroll of the PPI is also a part of the content. I don’t think it’s important, since most readers don’t see it as they’re reading through a feed. But still. It’s not neglected, I keep an eye on it, and because of this, it’s constantly changing. I add new blogs and remove others as often as a couple of times a week.

There are several reasons why I remove a blog. The most obvious one is that it isn’t updated anymore. My thumb rule is that I remove them after two months of inactivity. I also remove blogs if they stop being mainly about WoW or MMO related things. I might keep reading your real life blog if I love you as a writer, but I won’t link to it. Sometimes I remove blogs because I don’t read them anymore, it’s been months since any post really spoke to me and I’ve forgotten why I added the link in the first place. It's not because they're bad or I'm angry about something, it's just not my piece of cake anymore and there are just too many WoW blogs out there to link to everyone. “Sometimes you grow apart”, to use Tam’s words.

There’s nothing fair about a blogroll. It’s a deeply personal thing and I don’t think you should have to explain yourself to anyone why you link or don’t link to a certain blog. I don’t link back to every blogger that links to me and don’t expect linklove from blogs on my roll. It just doesn’t work that way.

Many times my decision to add one blog and not the other is quite random and more based on a gut feeling than on a thorough evaluation. I just wish it didn’t become such a Big Thing. I want to be able to play around with my blogroll without having to consider all the possibly hurt feelings that may follow.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a subtitle to The Pink Pigtail Inn, namely “Larísa’s Corner”. Yeah, the blog used to be called that for a very short period, before I moved it and name changed. But there’s still some truth in this name. Sure, I invite everyone to come here and have a pint and discuss almost anything connected to WoW and gaming and MMOs and life and the universe or whatever. But in the end it’s my corner of the world, and I’d rather not like to go into arguments about the looks of my blogroll.

And that’s about it I think. I got all the stuff I’ve been carrying around off my chest. Time to move on.

On an additional note I wouldn’t rule out that the blogosphere might explode in some other argumentation soon again. What else is there to do when Cataclysm still is months away and there isn’t much going on either in the game or the blogosphere?

There’s a good reason why this happened right now.

A gnome is knockning on the door

Three weeks have passed and here I am, standing by the door that leads to the WoW fandom. Should I knock on it? Am I ready? Does anyone still remember that little gnome lady with the pink pigtails who used to hang around? And - above all - have I still got anything on my mind about WoW, any opinions and thoughts worth sharing?

Something makes me hesitate for a second. I've never been away from blogging this long since I started in February 2008, and as I'm stretching my muscles, I suddenly feel how stiff I've become. It's strange how quick it goes. Three weeks, is that all it takes to get out of touch with the community?

Mind you, I haven't turned my back to everything imaginative and geeky during my vacation. On the contrary. For instance the last week has been a 24/7 exercise in All Out Geekiness.

Living the fantasy
The Medieval Week at Gotland that I mentioned before my take-off delivered anything I could possibly have hoped for. I think the best way to describe it is that when you're there, you're not playing a fantasy game anymore. You're living it. (I'm afraid there aren't any good videos posted yet, but here's a bunch of pictures from the week 2009, which will give you an idea of what it's like.)

Walking the streets dressed in a mantle and fairy-tale dress is for one precious week the norm rather than the exception. In more or less every corner there's some street performance going on - jesters, jugglers, acrobats and eaters and the music never ceases. If you like me think that bagpipes as opposed to the general opinion is a lovely instrument, you've come to the right place.

I spent three afternoons raiding, which turned out to be a quite exhausting activity wearing a full-length blood red dress in the sunshine. The sweat was pouring down my face and made me look far from ladylike. But I barely noticed, because the activity too my entire concentration.

To be fair, I don't think anyone else noticed that I in fact was in a raid. For a spectator it looked as if I was taking classes in medieval and renaissance dances, jumping around barefoot in long, complicated patterns in the green grass to some very old music. There wasn't any blood shred, no villains or dragons to deal with. But apart from that - it was raiding I was doing.

The learning process was exactly the same. The patient explanations from the raid/dance leader, the wipes in advance when something didn't click and we had to work out why. The strong sense of team work. And finally the moment when it clicked for everyone at the same time and we to our astonishment got through the entire dance to the end, ending at the positions we were supposed to end at. You don't need to wear a headset or even sit in front of a computer to let out a out a first-kill-cheer.

Can you blame me for holding onto this bubble? Can you blame the bards and musicians for writing melancholic songs about how dear the week is to them, and how reluctant they are to leave it, songs that brought tears into your eyes as you heard them.

I think anyone who's been to a geek convention knows the feeling. It's a homecoming and you enjoy every minute of it, but at the same time you're starting to take your bittersweet farewell of it even at the very moment it starts.

Nothing much happening in WoW
However - an end is an end and I'll have to cope with it. After all: you're still around here, provided Tam and Ixo didn't scare you off, and why should they?

WoW is still there and from the little I've seen so far, not very much has been going on since I headed out for adventures. It all seems very calm - to be honest a little bit too calm for my taste.

The release date for Cataclysm hasn't even been revealed yet. Not that I expected it to. Wrath was announced in mid September 2008 and launched in mid November. So we could wait at least another month or two before we have a reason to start worrying and asking ourselves if Cataclysm will launch this year.

But I must admit that the thought of spending the entire autumn with nothing much raid content to do except doing hard modes in Ulduar and ICC feels like a downer. It's a very long time we have ahead of us indeed. How are players like me, who aren't in the Beta and are reluctant to devour all the content in advance through movies and spoilers, supposed to keep up the spirit during those months?

And what about the blog, my dear old inn? With the lack of deliveries and new ingredients, can I really produce any decently tasting ale? The future will tell.

Tonight I'll just stretch out my legs in front of the fire, sip on a drink and linger a little bit longer in the memories of firetorches dancing in the air, hypnotizing music from instruments which I don't even know the name of and nightly walks under a the starry sky through the stone paved narrow streets of the 13th century town Visby, which makes Stormwind look totally modern and charmless.

I'll get over the loss eventually. A flat screen with moving pictures is slightly disappointing as a replacement for living out the fantasy, but as the nights quickly are getting darker and colder, I think I'll be quite pleased with the solution. And after all - only in Azeroth will I stand face to face with a dragon. That's quite something!

Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to hear your stories of what's been going on in the WoW community. What should I catch up on? Which discussions should I dive into?

An announcement

Dear guests!

I have an announcement to make. I will leave you.

No, no, no, not permanently. Not as far as I know of at least. There’s no guarantee about anything in this world and who knows what dangers I’ll face once I leave my little protected corner? But for the time being my plan is to keep blogging. In the way I've always done - one day at a time. Nothing has changed on that. Yet.

However I AM planning to leave you for a few weeks of vacation, meaning that you'll have a break from my funny little gnome voice.

If you feel a bit starved after a while, I'm afraid I can't help you. There aren't any pre-written posts in pipeline. But you can always help yourself. For instance you can explore the vaults of PPI. There are more than 500 blog posts in the archive. How many of those have you read? Or if you miss the discussion - keep up the banter in the comment section.

My absence will approximately last for three weeks. I might be back for a day or so between my journeys, but don’t count on it.

The inn won’t be completely deserted though. Two gentlemen have agreed on helping out to keep an eye on it, chasing away any spammer or troll that may appear: Ixobelle and Tamarind. Treat them well!

If you spot something that looks suspicious you can send an email to either of them and they’ll deal with it. The address to Tam is: Morewitthanhonesty at gmail dot com, and you can reach Ixo at ixobelle at gmail dot com.

Both of my helpers have been granted full bartender privileges. This means that if you think that the inn is just too quiet, and you’d like to contribute with a guest post, you can send it to them. If they find the post good enough, they’re free to publish it. They’re both excellent writers and I trust on their judgement. And you never know, they might surprise you with a little treat. It's not a promise. But a possibility.

I heard someone asking a question. Speak up! Oh, what I’m up to? Well, as I’ve mentioned previously, the Medieval week on Gotland is one of my destinations (oh, you should have seen the medieval dress I just bought for the occasion. It's gorgeous! I never knew there was a little princess hidden inside me who longed to get out). I’ll also spend a few days trekking in Yorkshire, checking out if the inns over there are as good as my own.

So… It's time, I believe.

Hey, Tam and Ixo! Here are the keys! Catch!

I’m putting on the backpack, wrapping my cloak around me, taking up a little song, ready to embrace whatever comes in my way.

Take care all of you! Take care of each other and of yourselves. Because it matters.

/hug
/wave
/vanish

Larísa

Blogger disagreements – when does it begin to hurt?

There was a heated discussion this week, mainly involving Moar HPS and Righteous Orbs, on the topic on whether healing without using addons can be better in some aspects, and if it’s snotty to say that it is, thus implying that addon-using healers are worse. I refuse to dive into the question as such. It is several days old, has been beaten to death, resurrected, and died again. I’ll let it lie.

However, the discussion became so hot that I somehow felt a bit uncomfortable following it. I know for sure that I would have felt a bit overwhelmed if there had been some 100 comments on some other blog, which all agreed on that Larísa at the Pink Pigtail Inn is completely wrong.

We’ve seen this kind of animated discussions a couple of times before in the WoW blogosphere – sometimes even causing blogs to shut down.

Cynical or senitive
And I can see this from two sides. One part of me is very straight forward, boarding to cynical about this.

As a blogger I think you need to develop some sort of skin. Not everyone will have barkskin, but if you take the slightest disagreement as the end of the world and a personal attack, blogging is probably not for you. If you speak up publicly there will be people who listen and not everyone will love you. That’s how it is. Live with it or leave.

But another part of me can understand why bloggers get emotional. Many of us are blogging in a quite personal style, leaving out, if not our names, at least our thoughts, our personalities, our emotions and our creativity on a level that is more intimate than I think many readers understand. We blog soul naked. We invest ourselves quite heavily – probably more than what is sensible – in our blogs and our internet personas. And when we’re under attack, it can easily feel as if it’s your person that is attacked – not necessarily the idea you might have tossed out a bit randomly, without getting every single word perfectly right.

I’ve been writing professionally for some 20 years by now. Receiving feedback – including negative criticism – is a natural part of my job. And it has never ever affected me, probably because I’m so confident in what I’m doing. I know my job and I’ve had superiors and colleges to give me support if needed.

As a blogger on the other hand, you only have a vague idea about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and how good you are at it. You’re questioning yourself and the results of your work constantly. And if the readers turn against you, you stand alone. There’s no one around who will cheer you up and help you look forward, no shoulder to cry on, no friend to lend you a ear if you need to just whine a little bit.

Why discussions are good
Does this mean that most bloggers don’t like discussions? Heck no! At least I love it. If there would never ever be anyone who disagreed with me, I’d be seriously worried about my blog, because it would imply that the content was pale, blend, completely uninteresting or too mainstream to catch the interest of anyone. I'd rather see people think for themselves and disagree with me, than fall asleep from pure boredom.

It’s in the good discussions a blog will sparkle and come alive. If you avoid everything that could be touchy and create a friction, your blog will most likely fade away into oblivion eventually. And above all –it will be way less fun to write. There’s nothing as fun as to put out a well formulated angry rant!

Showing a little bit of temperament once in a while isn’t bad; it’s one of the essential ingredients of most blogs.

I had a bit of a discussion here at the inn this week, when I posted about why I think accountwide achievements is a bad idea. A lot of readers disagreed with me. And for instance Lume wrote a couple of very long and elaborated comments where he argued for his sake. Did I get upset with Lume for that? Did he hurt my feelings? Absolutely not!

There were a couple of reasons for this. One is that we discussed this in a civilized way where we could listen to each others arguments, agreeing on that we could see this from two angles.

I could absolutely agree with much of what he said, as I often do in an argument. There isn’t any black and white, just gray nuances. Lume and I had ended up in different conclusions, where I would weight the pros and cons like 60-40 and he would put it the opposite way, 40-60. However I’m really glad and grateful when someone shares their point of view, even if they don’t agree with me. A good discussion in the comment section will give the readers a better and more balanced article, way better than it would have been if Lume hadn’t bothered to comment.

When it gets personal
The other reason why I didn’t mind arguing with Lume is that he kept his comments to the topic. He didn’t go personal about it. You see – trolls I can deal with without any problem. But if there’s anything I find it hard to handle calmly and detached, it’s when readers start to talk about me as a person and their expectations on me. “I’m disappointed with you…” “I used to like you and I’ve read you for such a long time, and now you’re doing this to me, I can’t believe it…” That kind of comments sometimes hurt me more than they should, especially when they’re not coming from our Mr “Anonymous”, but from someone whose nickname I recognize.

I have several issues with this kind of comments. One is that reading my blog is for free. I can understand if you write open letters to your travel agency, your government or your car salesman if they’ve somehow deceived you with their promises, where you express your “disappointment” with them. But to an amateur blogger? Exactly how could that kind of comments help to improve anything?

If you don’t like a blogger you previously used to enjoy, you can quietly stop reading without making a huge public affair about it. If you really want to tell the blogger about your disappointment – by all means, send him or her an e-mail and maybe you can sort it out. Eye to eye – that’s how I think you should take that kind of conversations. Not shouting it out over the rooftops in front of thousands of readers. Because I think that’s a rather ungrateful way to reward someone that you’ve enjoyed reading for free for such a long time.

Gevlon and Totalbiscuit
Then there’s of course an entirely different approach this. If there’s anyone who is used to get a lot of harsh comments, it’s Gevlon. And he just shrugs it off, saying that those anonymous punks can’t hurt you. They don’t know you, they can’t touch you. Letting them get to you is just a waste of energy.

A more extreme standpoint is the one of Totalbiscuit. He’s probably one of the most hated members of the WoW community, who gets entire threads dedicated to discuss his person in the WoW forums. A lot of hatered there going on, I’d say! Does he mind? Not the slightest. The more people talk about him, the better. It will give more clicks on his website, more viewers to his videos and in the end more incomes to him, because he gets money from ads.

How I handle criticism
We all have to find our own approach on how to handle criticism.

What I do is that I try to keep the discussion as civilized as possible in the comment section. If a comment has a tone of “personal attack” in it, I try to get too agitated about it, but answer as calmly as I can, not letting myself get dragged down on a sewer level. The only comments I delete is /unsubscribe, because it doesn’t add anything substantial. I think this works pretty well. There isn’t much drama going on here at the inn. I suppose our superb ale helps also, calming down our guests.

But if drama ever would appear and the bar guests would start to become violent, waving and calling their innkeeper names, I’d try to get some inspiration from Gevlon’s and Totalbiscuit's approach, not taking it too seriously.

In the end, as I’ve said many times before, we’re building sandcastles. It’s just pixels, opinions flying around in this twisted nether and within a few years all of this will be gone and forgotten. WoW as well as our blogs. Life will go on. It’s easy to forget that in the heat of the discussion.

Also, bear in mind that the shit storms we see around here is nothing to what other WoW bloggers have seen in the past. I tell you - nothing. Do you remember when I whined a little bit at that hunter podcast where they talked about the lack of good mage blogs? There were so many bad reactions, so much hatered towards BRK expressed after that, that I wrote him an e-mail and apologized for what I had caused. And you know what he replied?

"Never apologize for the reactions of The Mob. Listen, I've been through more flame-wars than all other WoW-bloggers put together,times two, and add 50. You're fine, I'm fine, everybody including the readers and commenters are fine. Well, Paladins aren't fine. But we have a plan for THEM. "

I couldn't have put it better myself.