Ask Larísa: How do I help my better half to become a better player?

The other day I got a letter. It came from a fellow blogger, Zekta, from P3P.net, who wanted a piece of advice. From me of all people! I can assure you I grew several inches. He seemed to think that I was some sort of Guinan figure, standing in her bar, listening to the customers, cracking sound advice with a touch of eerie mystery. Of course I'm not anywhere close to be anything like her. But it's nice to pretend!

I thought the best way to deal with this letter was to post it here, giving the other bar guests the chance to add their two cents to help out Zekta. And with this introduction I'll give the word to Zekta:

Question:

Dear Larísa,

This is Zekta from P3P.net I would like some advice. I guess many people had asked the same question before, but this really puzzle me, and I don't know where to look for the answer. So here I am, in the bar talking to you. Being one of the most intelligent Gnome I know on Azeroth, may be you can shed some light on the mist.

Last year, my better half decided to join me in Azeorth (with her hunter and after I asked too many time), so that we can "stay" together in our gaming time as well. Everything goes well, I had to teach her most of the thing and protect her on some dreadful situation. We enjoy every bit of that, and We dash thru Azeorth, Outland and finally Northern.

Finally her toon is now 80 level, and as we all know, there aren't much thing left to do. I am sure PVP is not her type, cause she value more cooperative gameplay, But I am hesitate to bring her to the PuG as well. Most people in PuG is in a rush and unforgiving, I wonder how she would learn the skill of a decent player. While we are so get used to it, avoiding danger (The classic don't stand in the fire), OT and DPSing may not be as simple as it looks. I expect much from other PuGer myself as well, so I am not sure where to take her to, while I can guide her thru the moves.

I had tried couples of dungeon (including Lord Ahune) run while I run with my Restro Shaman (While I can reduce the chance of wipe), I hardly had time to provide advice while I am busying filling health bars. I don't have much RL friend in game that are still playing, so there aren't any "training session" I can organise. (Unless it's 70-level).

What should I do? Queue up PuG with a DPS with her? Pug on normal? Solo run 70- instance? Or do you happens to know where I can look up information for a new player.

I personally had a Hunter as well, so I know the class In and Out. But the basic instance run info, It's hard to explain for me. (Since we are too used to it)

I really want her to enjoy the game... But I gotta have place to let her know about the basics, so that if any player complains at her, she'll know if their point is valid. (And we know that how many clueless Pug finger pointer is out here)

I think there are many other people had the same problem too. The instance difficulties now is too easy for old player(Us), but still kinda harsh for new player...

Regards,

Zekta Chan

Larísa's answer:

Dear Zekta,

I don't know you and you the lady of your heart in real life, so please forgive me if I'm jumping into the wrong conclusions after reading your letter. But to me it appears as if you're very protective towards her. You seem to be anxious to make sure that she's having a good time in Azeroth and that she won't stumble into some jerk, calling her names, making her feel uncomfortable. You're also very keen to shield her against potential failures, going as far as to play a healing shaman to compensate for her possible mistakes.

The question is: has she really asked you for all this help? Are you sure that she wants it? Could it be so that she might need a little space, so she could get the chance and the pleasure to figure out a few things on her own?

You see: the barkskin of a player doesn't grow overnight from nowhere. It's like learning to ride a bicycle. You need to fall a couple of times before you get it. Doesn't she deserve to enjoy the learning process like you did once upon a time, without feeling the pressure that she should catch up with you so you can play harder content together?

I've never played together with my better half. But I've read quite a few blog posts on the topic. Some bloggers obviously have a fantastic experience playing together as a couple. They enjoy having an interest in common and whenever they're online they're in a team. My impression though is that many of those happy gaming lovers actually don't live together. They use Azeroth as a way to see each other online between their real life meetings.

On the other hand - I've read more than once about couples where both play WoW, but on different servers and even on different factions. Sometimes it's because they enjoy different parts of the game, but there's also an element of getting personal space for themselves. As Spinksville noted in a blog post, where she described how she and her boyfriend were living in a small one-bedroom flat, where there wasn't much "solo room" for anyone. "And sometimes, being logged into the computer and playing a single player game almost felt as though it genuinely did add some virtual space to the house."

This quote is taken a bit out of context, but I still think you should really think about it carefully. Helping your girl friend is absolutely a good thing to do, but you might want to do things on your own, just for your own pleasure from time to time. And the same goes for her.

Ways to coach
With this out of the way: let's move on to your question. If you both agree on that you want to play together, if she really wants your help and if you enjoy being her teacher, where should you start to help her climb in the learning curve?

Well, to me it sounds as if you think that she might still lack a few basic skills that an all-round hunter should master. Maybe she needs to work out and practice on things as rotations, misdirecting, kiting and putting up traps. You can do this in several ways and I think you should try to vary it as much as possible.

Above all: don't worry at this stage about character advancement, loot drops or achievements. It's not important. What you want to do is to give her the chance to practice and improve in a non-hostile environment, where she'll get experience and hopefully also a little boost to her self confidence, which many new players need.

Seek out challenges that you can do as a duo to begin with. Do whatever group quests you can find in Northrend, just the two of you. At least the five-man quests should give you some resistance. Training sessions in a low-level instance is also a great idea.

Also remember: you don't have to be in the same group as her when you want to coach her. Try to vary the coaching a bit. You could for instance let her pug normal level 80 instances on her own. Instead of playing on your toon you could sit beside her, seeing exactly what maneuvers she does with her mouse and keystrokes, what spells she takes, how she reacts in certain situations. You can even ask her to comment on what she's doing aloud, letting her explain why she does what she does. With the knowledge of her actions and her reasoning, you'll be able to give way better feedback to her.

Another variant of this could be to switch roles. You said you know how to play a hunter. Well do that! Borrow her toon or pick out your own hunter if it's still around. Show her how you play it, tell her exactly what you're doing and what's going on in your mind.

Yet another idea is to find a few good instance videos that you could show her, preferably with hunters around. Watch them together and guide her through them, pointing out essentials that you think she could learn from.

Talking about online-resources: provided that she doesn't mind reading - why don't you send her to the blogopshere? I know The Hunter's Mark and Aspect of the Hare both have guides on different aspects, but there are surely many others as well. For some reason hunter's seem to blog and podcast more than other classes. They're there to be read and used!

Not overdoing it

Last but not least: there's nothing wrong with putting up a boot camp to get her going, helping her to grasp the basics of the game. Just be careful not to overdo it, not to be too pushy and enthusiastic about it. And know when it's time step back and let her try her wings in a PUG without you hanging around in the party trying to save her.

Zekta: you should put some trust in your girl friend! She can probably do much better without you than you imagine already. Eventually you have to give her the chance to grow on her own. She deserves it like every player does.

Cheers,

Larísa

So this was the answer that your innkeeper could come up with. But if there are any bar guests who have more suggestions to Zekta, please speak up!